Empathy is the Key
We live in a very cold world where many people do not have the time, agency or capacity to handle the emotional passions and turmoil of others. I remember realizing this when I was very young. I was told I am noisy, ‘kimbelembele’ (too much in local lingua), bossy or too emotional whenever I voiced my deepest thoughts or opinions. And as I evolved into an adult, I was out rightly told my emotions do not matter. And this is me speaking as a woman. I can’t imagine what men deal with. In the market place, comments like this slowly pushed me into a corner of indifference and a ‘don’t care attitude’ because anyway…why should I care about others emotions if nobody cares about mine? Why should I even care about the people I serve? I have been recovering from these shocks slowly. And i have a dear colleague, leader and friend to thank for this. Her ability to lean in, listen and sit with me without necessarily having an answer to everything can be summed up in one word.
Empathy
There’s been a Tiktok video making rounds lately where several men are asked ‘Who do you call when you’re at your lowest?’ The resounding answer? Your guess is as good as mine. The general answer man after man was ‘nobody. I am a man. Nobody cares.’ That hit me bad. And not just because it was men saying it but because generally speaking, so many of us actually will not call anybody because we believe nobody actually cares.
I am totally convinced that rising rates of suicide, mental illness, homicides, family feuds, endless wars etc. can be attributed to the human inability to be empathetic with others. Kendra Sherry (Verily Well Mind) defines empathy as ‘the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they must be feeling.’ We often tell people to tell us when they are in emotional distress but do we really take time to listen to what they are saying without judgement? Do people trust that we have the agency and capacity to sit with them, listen actively and not rush into offering ‘brush’ solutions to the emotional crises that they are in?
Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”
~ Brene Brown
Imagine how much more healthier people would be if we practiced empathy and let them know that without any shadow of doubt ‘they are not alone.’ Work would be so much more enjoyable. Our personal relationships so much more satisfying. Citizens so much more resilient and the nation so much more progressive. And Kenya is not exception to this.
Empathy is the Key.
I like this little animation by Brene Brown on Empathy in the link below. I hope you can take the time to watch it. It will be worth your time, believe me.
Let’s aim for more empathy in 2022, yes?
