Getting comfortable with conversations on power.
A few months ago, I made the decision to get off work and go back to school for 12 months to study Power, Participation and Social Change at ids (institute of development studies). I know what you’re thinking… “who goes to school to study power and participation?” Believe it when I say that my own father (whom I love dearly) still cannot articulate what I am studying either :) Like you, i was unsure of what to expect. Although I must say that the schooling has met my expectations.
Anyway, this post is not about my degree but rather my fascination with human behavior when it comes power. Since about 6 years ago, I began to notice my behavior in various contexts. I began to notice how I was quieter among certain people and louder with others. I began to notice that some people were comfortable around my presence and others weren’t. I noticed how I would pitch ideas with certain people and with others I would completely shut down. I saw how certain peoples’ voices were heard in the boardroom, way more than ‘others’ voices even if the ‘others’ had greater insight. And I began to realize that decisions in the different contexts I found myself in, were mostly made exclusively by a small group of people, with little to no consultation with those that would be affected by those decisions. When I had discussions with people concerning these things, the conclusion often boiled down to personality. Some people were just louder, bossier or bullies. Yes perhaps, that's a contributing factor. But I wasn’t convinced. Because I had seen quieter individuals too control narratives, decisions and money which meant that louder, bossier or being a bully did not mean that you had influence. I saw this loud and stealth human behavior reproduce itself everywhere…at work, in church, in my neighborhood, in my family. And because I am curious and love to collect and archive information, I went looking for answers in movies, documentaries, books and finally academia- hence the degree.
I discovered quickly that this human behavior is ‘all about power’. Our politics, familial relationships, how organizations are run, how donors disperse money, how programs are rolled in government, how people interact, how media investigates and reports, how data is sook out and analyzed. It’s all about power. I hadn’t read Srilathas Batliwala’s book ‘all about power’ before going back to school but I knew something was up. I just did not have the vocabulary. The funniest thing about it all, is that i did not realize that I too had power and my power or in some cases its lack thereof either privileged or deprivileged me depending on the space I found myself in. Though not completely, it greatly determined what conversations I could have and with whom, how far I could grow in an organization, how much I could be trusted in a space, how strongly my opinions could be taken including if they mattered at all. And it also determined who could be in my presence freely, who could express themselves unreservedly with me, how people decided to deal with me and the kind of relationships I attracted or rejected. This is further complicated when my age, gender, religion, politics, socio-economic status, ethnicity and education is articulated with certain people and groups.
If there is one thing I have been learning, is that power is everywhere and we all have power of varying degrees. There will always be someone more powerful than you and you will always be more powerful than someone else. Now how you use your power, is what determines the level of your humanity in a world that is naturally manipulative and/or looks out for its self-interest at the expense of ‘others’. For your power will unavoidably determine the course of your life if not the lives of others. Perhaps it is time we get comfortable talking about power and what it means instead of hiding behind the facade of personality and leadership styles!
P/S: If you’ve noticed, i have kept quoting the word ‘others’. I do plan on writing on this idea of otherness and how it relates to power at least from where I sit. See you in my next post soon.
