How understanding these three things about people helps me build relationships.

Facts about a potential partner you shouldn’t ignore

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

So I am walking down the street this cold Saturday morning, off to buy a packet of milk from the local kiosk. Suddenly, my throat seems dry, my heart is beating a little faster and my mind seems to be in a whiz. Twenty year old me has come face to face with my crush. He says ‘hi’ but my breath has been taken away and I am lost for words. I shrink. Have you ever felt this way when you meet with a crush, someone you highly regard or a new person? In love and life, shrinking happens to the best of us. A few years ago when I began working in the partnerships space, I noticed how I would shrink whenever I would meet with a new contact. The shrinking existed because of this one question they would ask, ‘How does this benefit us?’ Deep inside I knew that the contact had what I needed to get a project going but articulating what their win would be if we did business together was the problem. This happened a few times until I stopped kidding myself and decided to be deliberate about communicating my vision, goals and win-win strategy for both me and the potential partner.

Very rarely will somebody hand you what you want until they see the direct benefit that your proposal gives to them.

If you had a chance to read my first posting ‘What are you bringing to the table?’ last week, you probably remember the emphasis that I made on identifying the value that you would bring to a potential personal or organizational partner. In a world that now rides on the social media wave, we often here the words ‘content is king’ and it is. But when you want to build something that lasts and will be beneficial for a long time I insist that ‘value is king’. This is extremely important for people that are serious about partnering with and towards purpose.

I want you to come correct when opportunities to build social and professional relationships with people arise. Truth is that very rarely will somebody hand you what you want until they see the direct benefit that your proposal gives to them. So today, I want to share with you 3 facts about people that have helped me connect better socially and professionally.

1. Competing factors and priorities are peoples’ greatest distractions. Given a chance to be in your targets shoes, you will see that for some, their time is structured to detail. I realized that if I want their attention, I needed to get straight to the point especially with individuals that are goal oriented. And no they aren’t being mean, they just have so much going on so if they carved out time for me, I had to make the best use of it by giving a straight to the point convincing argument.
2. They need to know their investment will be worth it. I was listening in on a conversation on Club House yesterday where professionals were giving personalized advise to individuals. The rooms’ moderator captured my attention when he said, ‘Guys, I hope you will come back and show us the progress you have made with the advise you get here. Its a waste of time for us if you come back asking the same question next week.’ I nodded my head in total agreement because time and energy invested, just like money should bear fruit. That said, I often look through history to find points that show mine or my organizations progress and initial steps that will inspire them to invest in me or a cause more. Even the tiniest step can help your case. And don’t build sand castles in the air please, few people have patience for that. People can tell when you’re faking it.
3. Emotion is the secret ingredient to their agency. Helen Keller said, ‘The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart’. Often, people will not connect with your vision or goals until their hearts feel the need presented before them. I learned overtime that to effectively communicate I should evoke feelings of happiness or sadness, joy or grief, anger or passion. Emotions are a driving force that will give the target agency to invest in you or your organization. Masters of branding understand this and make huge profits. When you couple emotion and facts together in a story or proposal, you are more likely to win.

There are many other worthy points I haven’t mentioned, these are the 3 top off my head. Based on these three points we can deduce that a partner expects that your value will save them time and money; it will also fill a knowledge gap and give psychological high in the long term. So guys, the next time you want to engage with a person and expand your social and professional networks, won’t you consider these three things? Next week we will have a part two of this conversation that will focus on social capital in an antisocial world. Feel free to give me your ideas and perspectives on todays post in the comments and if you enjoyed it, share it with a friend who you think would benefit too.

Thanks for reading and happy weekending!